Mother of a Young Adult


Arewe growing along with our children or are we still the same parents when our kids were young? Probably it's easier when children are young. My son turned 15 years this Friday and OMG!!! What a tsunami of emotions I felt. His preferences are changing, his priorities are different. It was way easier to plan his birthday when he was young. All you need is order a cake and invite some friends. Then every thing is taken care.

This year I did not know how to celebrate his birthday. For sure I wanted to have some celebrations. When I checked with him he said "I don't know. I want to celebrate with you guys on that day and I want to go out with my friends another day."

 He asked me if he can go on a sleep over to his friends house the night before his birthday. My! My! All my insecurities popped up. He is growing older and what if his friends introduce him to something? What if they decide to try something? Maybe smoking, may be drinking, or even worse, porn? (imagine reaction of a Bollywood mother)

I was really scared. There were lot going on inside me. I looked at him and said "I know you are older now. I want you to enjoy with your friends but these are my concerns". He was a little annoyed with me but still he showed some patience and understanding and said, "Mom, you have spoken to me about all these things, I know you are stressed but trust me, I wont do anything that gets me into trouble. I know my responsibilities. If I am uncomfortable with anyone, I will not hang out with them, so relax". Saying that he gave me a hug. Mixed with insecurities and being gotten… I started crying. He kept patting me and saying "Mom you worry too much". I said "Don't tell anyone that I cried for you turning 15" We burst into laughter. 


My learnings from this incident: 
- We need to grow along with our children. 
- We can be vulnerable and share our insecurities and feelings to them.
- We can trust our children.
- They can make mistakes but that's ok. There will be lots of learning for all of us from that.
- We can be just be a witness for each other's learning journey. 


 

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